All scripture King James Version. These notes are what I got from sermon, not necessarily what was preached. Sermons are available to view/listen to at Grace Church website for approximately 1 month from time sermon preached.
Desperate Households – Divorce and Remarriage
Grace Church Sermon notes
Pastor Bob Yandian
Feb. 11, 2007
Mat 19:3-8 KJV
(3) The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause?
(4) And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female,
It is quite clear here how man was made, male and female, not two of the same gender. That is what marriage is.
(5) And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh
(6) Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
(7) They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away
(8) He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.
The religious people had found a loophole in the Law to permit divorce. They tried to trick Jesus. They felt any reason was good enough for divorce. Religious people today go the other way, divorce is the sin not permitted. Both extremes are wrong. Divorce and remarriage are permitted in the Bible, under certain conditions.
In the beginning God made Adam and Eve. When they fell into imperfection, they were still married. Yes you should try to restore the fellowship with your spouse. You are not the only one having these problems. Many others have the same problems. If they can make it through them so can you. Remember that you cannot change the other person’s life; you only can change your own. Divorce is usually for petty small reasons that can be worked out. Marriage is a covenant.
God hates Divorce.
Mal 2:16 KJV
(16) For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for one covereth violence with his garment, saith the LORD of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously.
God does not condone murder and adultery. God hates divorce but it is not a sin. It is not God’s best. He did not want a King for
Many churches will not let you serve if you are divorced. They use 1 Tim 3:2 and Titus 1:6. They say husband of one wife means no divorce. Paul would have meant one wife only, not polygamy.
Moses most likely was divorced. He had married and went to lead the people out. When the family went, he took ill and God said go no further till his son was circumcised. She hated him for that and left him. Moses later married and Ethiopian woman. In other words, the one who wrote the laws on divorce was himself divorced and remarried. There is a career after divorce. It is not the best plan. Even if the divorce is your fault, God can turn it around. Talk to people who have been divorced and see the pain that they have gone through.
Deu 24:1-2 KJV
(1) When a man hath taken a wife, and married her, and it come to pass that she find no favor in his eyes, because he hath found some uncleanness in her: then let him write her a bill of divorcement, and give it in her hand, and send her out of his house.
(2) And when she is departed out of his house, she may go and be another man's wife.
She can go and be another man’s wife. Not him. She was the problem, she had the uncleanness. God forgives sinning. People will search the scripture to make it mean what they want it to. We walk in faith. We choose to walk in love. This is a covenant. Uncleanness was the loophole, they knew what the law said about being clean and unclean and they would wait till the wife was in an unclean state and divorce her. Unclean here means a sexual affair that she will not turn from. There is no such thing as a better or perfect person. Note in the scripture that divorce and remarriage are permitted by God.
Scriptural reasons for divorce (hardness of heart)
- Adultery (sexual perversion as well)
Mat 5:32 KJV
(32) But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery
Mat 19:9 KJV
(9) And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.
Only used when mate will not turn from their ways. Hardness of heart going from one to the other is not good. If someone truly repents you should try to work it out. - Abuse or brutality
Mal 2:14-16 KJV
(14) Yet ye say, Wherefore? Because the LORD hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously: yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant.
(15) And did not he make one? Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth.
(16) For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for one covereth violence with his garment, saith the LORD of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously.
Hurting of the wife is the abuse or brutality. - Desertion
1Co 7:15 KJV
(15) But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.
Paul also mentions some others.
1Co 7:27 KJV
(27) Art thou bound unto a wife? seek not to be loosed. Art thou loosed from a wife? seek not a wife.
Do not make putting one away and quickly finding another. Spend time with God.
1Co 7:28 KJV
(28) But and if thou marry, thou hast not sinned; and if a virgin marry, she hath not sinned. Nevertheless such shall have trouble in the flesh: but I spare you.
You will bring problems in another marriage, it can be worked out. Paul says you can remarry.
1Co 7:10-11 KJV
(10) And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband:
(11) But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.
Even after divorce, things can be worked out. We need to make up our minds that divorce is not an option. We have a covenant.
Pro 13:10 KJV
(10) Only by pride cometh contention: but with the well advised is wisdom.
Pride is where the problems begin.
Pro 17:14 KJV
(14) The beginning of strife is as when one letteth out water: therefore leave off contention, before it be meddled with.
Getting your two cents in is often where the contention starts.
Change yourself not your mate.
Psa 57:7 KJV
(7) My heart is fixed, O God, my heart is fixed: I will sing and give praise.
Fix your heart in the things of God.
Remember that in order for you to make a u turn down the road you need to put the breaks on now. Fix your heart on God.
Psa 112:7-8 KJV
(7) He shall not be afraid of evil tidings: his heart is fixed, trusting in the LORD.
(8) His heart is established, he shall not be afraid, until he see his desire upon his enemies.
Forget about what you could have had from the past. Your heart is not fixed if you do.
You may say that you do not love your mate anymore. Feelings are the last things that come when you walk in faith. You feel sick till you walk in faith for healing. You say that you love them and you walk in faith till you feel it.
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